[Excerpt from Bliss Copyright © 2017 Edward K. Watson. All rights reserved. Chapter 1.]

 

Let’s begin the process of how to get the man of your dreams, and that is to get noticed. Your goal is to have one or more potential husbands notice you, approach you, and start talking to you. But he must notice you in a manner that lets him imagine not just having sex with you but also being married to you.

This means you cannot be passive and do nothing. You must do certain things to put yourself out there. He’s not going to kick your door down and carry you out into the sunset—if all you do is read books, watch TV, play online games, or spend most of your free time with your female friends and relatives.

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Getting noticed is done in two ways: Be the “center of attention” where the spotlight of interest is focused on you, or be in close proximity to your desired guy where he gets to observe you closely.

Center of Attention

Why do celebrities have fans? Why do millions fantasize about being in a relationship with a gorgeous celebrity? How do they even know the celebrity? It is because that celebrity is placed in a situation where others notice her. The guys saw her on television or in a movie. She was the host at a public event and managed the microphone. She was a contestant or performer on a stage. She was a speaker at a gathering.

The celebrity was noticed because she did something where she was the center of attention, no matter how briefly, that caused men to notice her and imagine themselves having sex with her and being married to her. This is why celebrities have fan mail marriage proposals—and even get restraining orders against obsessed fans.

Imagine you’re on a stage with a dozen other women and thousands of men are looking at you. How will you get them to notice you and only you while disregarding the rest?

The easiest thing to get yourself noticed by potential husbands is to move into the spotlight. Do things that the others are not doing at that moment. Stand out from the rest. Say something and do something that makes guys who are watching think that you’d make the perfect wife for them.

Women in famous beauty contests like the Miss Universe Pageant do not just rely on their looks and figures to get noticed. They talk about themselves, what they’re interested in, what they’ve done, or what they think about a subject. Same thing with actresses: It isn’t just their looks that cause them to be desirable; it is what they do or what they say that result in men fantasizing about being married to them—even if they’re just acting and what is observed isn’t the real them.

It is the words and actions that catapult these beautiful women beyond sex symbols into potential wives. Those are the triggers that cause the rich and powerful to contact them to entertain the possibility of marriage.

If you’re like most women who don’t want to go up on a stage or lack the inclination to go to Hollywood to become the next big star,[1] there are still many things you can do to become the center of attention.

Go to an event by yourself where lots of men can see how attractive you are. Some types of events would be a competition, convention, festival, celebration, or arts event – but not a place where all one does is drink and party. Sure you’ll get hit on by lots of guys even in these events, but isn’t that the point? How else will your future husband ever meet you? Of course, some may only be thinking about sex, but a significant portion will be contemplating entering into a relationship and possible marriage down the road if they like what they see after getting to know you better.

For example, if the type of guy you’re looking for is a business professional, develop an interest in a business-related field and attend a convention where you’ll get to meet these types of guys. If you’re seeking an athletic guy, go to a sports competition where there will be hundreds of potential partners, especially after their races when they’ll be relaxing in the clubhouse. If you want a rich husband (even though wealth isn’t part of the 80% of mandatory characteristics of a good husband), go to where a lot of rich guys go such as anything to do with horses, sailing, golf, tennis, crew, skiing, lacrosse, stock exchange, or art auctions.

It’s not just about going to events and places. If you’re good at a musical instrument, perform in public. If you’re good at a particular sport, participate in competitions. If you’re a great cook, join the next cook-off. Emcee the next school play. Do something, anything, to briefly become the center of attention so that potential partners notice you and imagine themselves being married to you.

The point is to get educated on a subject or field that interests your desired future husband and get noticed by being attractive and knowledgeable. Do what you’re good at, and become even better—and then put yourself in a situation where you can display your skills and expertise before potential suitors.[2] Everyone is good at something that makes them stand out from the average person. Take advantage of that fact and put yourself out there.

It could be something as easy as being especially funny or flirty so that he’ll approach you and initiate a conversation or it could be as hard as winning a mixed martial arts competition or completing a triathlon.

Sure it’s scary and requires courage, but that brief moment in the sun may result in a lifelong relationship with a wonderful man.

It is the woman’s character that allows her to transcend being just a booty call or just another pretty face to becoming a cherished wife. This is why smart women know they do not need to dress and act slutty in order to find a great husband.

Proximity

The second way to bring attention to yourself is to be near a guy you’re interested in. This is not as effective as becoming the center of attention because the number of potential husbands is drastically lower, but it is more appropriate if you already have a specific guy in mind.

There are two types of proximity: Physical—where you are physically near the man; and Virtual—where you are within each other’s space despite being physically apart (e.g., online social media, chat room, video games, virtual reality world, and so forth).

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Moving into the apartment next door, being in the same study group, working in the same office, being on the same team, and having a genuine interest and knowledge of a common subject are all credible reasons for being physically close to your target and justifies close interaction on a regular basis.

Attributes to Highlight

It is crucial that any attention you attract results in a potential husband or partner thinking of you as girlfriend material instead of just a casual sex partner. What this means is the attention you receive should not come from putting your whole fist in your mouth or demonstrating the absence of a gag reflex. It should not come from pounding back liquor shots or dancing erotically. It should not come from licking bananas and flashing boobs. It should not come from body language or outright suggestions that tell him you’re willing to have sex with him right at that moment or in the immediate future.

He needs to notice you while you’re highlighting attributes and characteristics that men want in a girlfriend, and later wife, that they don’t care about with someone they’re just having sex with.

Just as women should want men with the ideal characteristics for mate selection, so do men. This means he needs to notice you possess the following characteristics:

  1. Striving to be a better person
  2. Loving towards your family
  3. Protective of your family
  4. Compassionate towards others
  5. Not abusive or violent
  6. Wants to make your husband happy
  7. Wants to make your family’s life nicer
  8. Works for your loved ones

However, since men are superficial creatures when seeking women, you’re going to want to magnify your appearance and attributes while reserving the much more important mandatory traits for later, after he gets to know you better.[3]

What this means is he must notice you while you’re unusually gorgeous, sexy, funny, charming, and witty. He must observe that you are not catty or bitchy or gossipy.

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He must notice you specifically, not as part of a crowd, but in a situation where his attention is focused on you, and you alone. If possible, allow yourself to get caught sneaking peeks at him or smiling at him. This will encourage him to approach you after you finish whatever it was you were doing while you were under the spotlight.

Be Alone when Trying to Attract a Man

Most men are afraid of rejection and humiliation when done in front of witnesses, but are much less averse to taking the chance of talking to a woman if others do not witness the potential rejection.

What this means is most of us men will not approach a woman who’s out with her friends unless we’re urged to by our friends who are watching,[4] had to take some substance to give us courage, be extremely self-confident to the point of being a sociopath, or be a very good “player” with no interest in a serious relationship.

If you want to drastically increase your chance of meeting a decent guy who could be your future husband, you must make yourself approachable. You must be alone so that a guy can talk to you privately without your friends observing and overhearing your conversation.

So, make sure you are alone instead of just being one of the girls. If you are part of a group, take the opportunity of spending time by yourself while surrounded by potential suitors so that it’ll be easier for them to approach you. You only need to be by yourself for a few minutes before a guy who was observing you while you were with your friends will start a conversation.

If you’re asked why you left your group, you can always say you wanted to mingle, go to the restroom, get a drink, or whatever credible reason you can come up with to justify being alone. After a few minutes of conversation where you two get to know each other better, you can then bring him back and introduce him to your group, and then continue speaking to one another—and perhaps, get each other’s phone numbers or set up a first date.

Fear

If you’re too scared to take charge of your life while still wanting to get married, your only choice is to rely upon a matchmaker to set you up with a potential partner or enter into an arranged marriage. And do you really want to put the most important thing in your life in the hands of others?

So, don’t be afraid—take a chance at love and get yourself a great guy to travel through life with.

 

 

 

[1] This is unrealistic anyway since fewer than one in a hundred of those who go to Hollywood become “big stars” or even moderate stars.

[2] But don’t do something that interests the desired future husband if it doesn’t interest you! The last thing you want is to learn the violin and hate it but keep up with it because you want to marry a musician. There are other ways to meet people who love music.

[3] It is the mandatory characteristics that seal the deal (see next chapter).

[4] And usually taking bets as to how brutal or how long it’ll take for us to get rejected.

 

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Nonfiction writer - religious studies, project documentation, human relations, self-help, social commentary, and forecasting

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